I wish I had a wall-sized computer screen on which to watch the glorious action of this Dark Knight Rises movie trailer…It’s gorgeous and grim, and loaded with all the classic cues of a Christopher Nolan flick. Collapsing skylines, swallowing crevices, candlelit Marion Cotillard, and lots and lots of staircases. But even if much of the cast in Batman Wears Prada While Bronson Blows Up His Dream State seems familiar, I can’t wait to see how the movie incorporates the ideas of Occupy Wall Street into the storyline of absolute power corruption….Oh hay, 1%.

“There’s a storm coming Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches. Because when it hits you’re all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us…” -Catwoman

Oh, who am I kidding, all I care about is BANE.

Now along with the Dark Knight Rises trailer, there were other solid teases to keep film fans salivating for 2012…

1) Prometheus trailer…of a trailer: What do we learn about Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel?
2) Wrath of the Titans trailer: More Perseus, more sandals, and super gnarly looking Titans!
3) The Dictator: Sasha Baron Cohen’s new spoof looks amazing….ly offensive!

Watch all three after the jump…

1) Ridley Scott, director of that masterpiece Alien, says his Prometheus movie isn’t exactly an Alien prequel. But all the nerds refuse to believe him. The OG girl with the dragon tatt aka Noomi Rapace will be there, so will Stringer Bell aka Idris Elba, and Michael Fassbender, who is quickly monopolizing every serious leading man role in Hollywood. Sucks for you, Timberlake ; ) Prometheus is out June 2012.

2) I actually liked Clash of the Titans, the 300-edition. It was cheesy, but fun, looked great, and I could watch it while shopping online without really missing much. Avatar’s Sam Worthington is back, with a curlier hairdo. But is it odd that he sucks in any movie where he wears normal pants? Anyways, I like this siamese twin Titan monster, and I always love Liam Neeson and Voldermort. Wrath of the Titans is out March 2012.

3) Borat was incredibly uncomfortable and hilarious. Bruno was just uncomfortable. But Sasha Baron Cohen’s new movie The Dictator looks fantastic! And not just because I’m a sucker for brutal Kardashian jabs. It’s timely stuff, and knowing Cohen’s past Ali G work…I’m expecting a lot of “it’s funny because it’s true.” The Dictator comes out Summer 2012, and has a twitter: RepublicWadiya.

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Oh God, why? I’m not against all rehashing of the past to lure both grownup dollars and youngun dollars…but can the vintage Larry, Curly, Moe slapstick of the original Three Stooges franchise translate to 2012? Ehh…Watch the first trailer for the Farrelly Brothers’ The Three Stooges film and judge for yourself. (via ComingSoon)

Sean Hayes (Will and Grace), Chris Diamantopoulos (um…24?) and Will Sasso (MAD TV) definitely look the part, but there’s a veneer of cheese that makes this trailer look like it should just be left as a MAD TV skit, or a Funny or Die webisode. I think it makes sense that the Farrelly Brothers are directing, since they’ve carried the torch for slapstick comedy. And I loved The Farrelly’s Something About Mary, and Me Myself and Irene…but they’ve since then it’s been bombs like Shallow Hal, The Ringer and that awful awful Hall Pass. I’m sure this new Stooge will be chock full of celebrity cameos when it drops in April 2012, in fact the last part of the trailer with Jersey Shore’s J-Woww, Snooki and Sammi is the only funny bit, but did this need to be a full movie? Can’t the universe (aka Hollywood) just focus all it’s Scientology prayers on Zoolander 2?

Oh, speaking of Snooki and Company….the new trailer for MTV’s Jersey Shore Season 5 just dropped as well. It is surprisingly trauma free. That’s odd. Shouldn’t there be an unplanned pregnancy, a drug overdose, and a hilarious Situation vs. His Dad fistfight?

Watch the Jersey Shore Season 5 trailer…
After the jump

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